Great Scott!

Hello all. Sorry for my absence over the past few days. I was rather embarrassed by my tipsy talk the other night so I’ve pretty much been avoiding this, my real blog, since and have been throwing myself into my Tumblr instead. But then I came across this earlier on when I was supposed to be doing real work and just had to come over and share it with you! 

 

By Watts Industries

Anyone remember the M.M.M.M., that wonderful little contraption that could convert fairy thoughts to music? Well’s here’s another even more monumental invention that’s been hiding it’s light under an Etsy bushel while the world’s scientists continue to slave away in their conventional labs. Yes folks, they said it couldn’t be done but now a little known Bristol inventor has gone and invented a time machine. A TIME MACHINE!!!

According to the manufacturers it’s a “hand held device for traversing the chrono scape”  which transports a willing volunteer through the vortex of time itself. “Feuled by raw liquid ether held in the containment vessel at the bottom,” they continue, “the user has only to wind the clockwork mechanism at the top the desired number of times to initiate chronoporting.” Fair enough.

Ah, but does it work? At $100,000 it would bloody well need to! Now if it was on offer for £9.99 I’d be a bit sceptical myself, but if it costs that much then it must be real. Plus they have photographic proof of its chronosphere-surfing attributes, apparently, which you can view here: video of Watts Industries Time Machine demonstration. I have to admit I haven’t actually watched it myself, it was taking far too long to buffer with my crappy connection, but I’m happy to take their word for it. As aul Fox used to say, I want to believe!

On the whole I think my favourite part of their sales pitch though, aside from their offer of the chance to navigate the boundaries of eternity itself,  has to be their disclaimer:

Watts Industries Accepts no responsibility for chronofreeze, ingestion by theropods, Vexatious encounters with robots and infantication. If raw liquid ether is ingested seek medical attention yesterday.

Don’t say you weren’t warned!

A Little Bit Of Honesty In A Cloud of Drunken Fantasy

I really regretted my last inebriated rant here during the summer, but you all seemed to like it so here’s another one. I should really put this off till the morning, but then I’d never post it. Bloody pub quiz, this wouldn’t be the first time it made me shame myself in front of real people!!! Anyway, if any of you ever wanted to know ‘me’ here’s a bit of a clue:

 Image Source

I consume other people’s dreams too freely, yet I lack the courage to create my own. For me the world is not a magical place but in my head I make it so. I traverse the galaxy in a haze of self-denial.

But I like it this way, it’s the only way I can like anything.  Except the things and people I love. I do actually live a charmed life yet I leave my blessings on my front door to venture off in worlds I don’t belong.  What do I be thinking?

Who knows? It’s probably something to do with those few pints I had earlier but I already forget what I was thinking two seconds ago. It was good too. A fleeting moment of enlightenment lost in a mind fogged with beer and cynicism.

It’ll come back to me eventually. Won’t it? It was my own thought after all, surely it wouldn’t abandon me so quickly. Damn you thoughts! You are all I am yet I can never rely on your comfort. You turn on me too often and, worse, you never give me a hug.

There is a man who betters you, though far too often I give you more attention than him. That is my stupidity, something I am condemned to forever mourn. To sacrifice true happiness for your promises is the biggest mistake I continually make.

So in conclusion this post is a promise. A  promise to myself, and to himself who will never read it, to stop living this escapist fantasy and own up to this beautiful life I’m unbelievably fortunate to lead. I’ll still post about fairies and beauty but from now on I’m going to cherish these little blessings gifted to me from the most mundane corners of the universe.  Twinkling stars that are so close they blind you, lights of the Otherworld that keep you fired on the darkest of eves.

Thanks for reading folks, as always. You yourselves are all little sparkles on the same sky of wonder. Oíche mhaith agus codladh sámh. Dream well my friends!

Halloween Pics (At Last!)

 

So I’ve finally got my connection sorted out. I’ve been trying to post these pictures all week but my broadband’s been so slow recently I kept running out of patience. Ah, the joys of living in the north of Ireland. Seriously, don’t get me started on internet services round these parts. I’m not sure if it’s just my imagination but my connection seems to play up anytime the weather gets bad, which isn’t exactly ideal in this climate!

Anyway, hope you all had a wonderful holiday. It technically still is Samhain here, and it will be for the next few weeks, but that’s just because ‘Samhain’ is the Irish word for November. Wish we celebrated it all month! Actually maybe not. Last weekend nearly killed me. I hardly ever drink anymore and I was out partying two nights in a row, with an extra hour thrown in thanks to the clocks changing. I don’t care if it’s clichéd, I’m getting too old for this shit! Twas fun all the same though.

Right so here are the aforementioned photos. I’ve actually tons more but I just picked the ones of friends who I don’t think will kill me for posting them here (or who won’t  find out!). Sorry folks, but I haven’t bothered to include any of myself; it felt too weird. My two costumes were pretty lame anyway, so you’re not missing anything. I’m really going to put the effort in next year, and I mean it this time!