Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Great Scott!

Hello all. Sorry for my absence over the past few days. I was rather embarrassed by my tipsy talk the other night so I’ve pretty much been avoiding this, my real blog, since and have been throwing myself into my Tumblr instead. But then I came across this earlier on when I was supposed to be doing real work and just had to come over and share it with you! 
 

Anyone remember the M.M.M.M., that wonderful little contraption that could convert fairy thoughts to music? Well’s here’s another even more monumental invention that’s been hiding it’s light under an Etsy bushel while the world’s scientists continue to slave away in their conventional labs. Yes folks, they said it couldn’t be done but now a little known Bristol inventor has gone and invented a time machine. A TIME MACHINE!!!

According to the manufacturers it’s a “hand held device for traversing the chrono scape”  which transports a willing volunteer through the vortex of time itself. “Feuled by raw liquid ether held in the containment vessel at the bottom,” they continue, “the user has only to wind the clockwork mechanism at the top the desired number of times to initiate chronoporting.” Fair enough.

Ah, but does it work? At $100,000 it would bloody well need to! Now if it was on offer for £9.99 I’d be a bit sceptical myself, but if it costs that much then it must be real. Plus they have photographic proof of its chronosphere-surfing attributes, apparently, which you can view here: video of Watts Industries Time Machine demonstration. I have to admit I haven’t actually watched it myself, it was taking far too long to buffer with my crappy connection, but I’m happy to take their word for it. As aul Fox used to say, I want to believe!


On the whole I think my favourite part of their sales pitch though, aside from their offer of the chance to navigate the boundaries of eternity itself,  has to be their disclaimer:
Watts Industries Accepts no responsibility for chronofreeze, ingestion by theropods, Vexatious encounters with robots and infantication. If raw liquid ether is ingested seek medical attention yesterday.
Don’t say you weren’t warned!

8 comments:

Romantic Heroine said...

I love your tumblr!

Róisín said...

Thanks RH! It's really rather addictive though, seem to be drawn to it everytime I turn on my computer. Do you have one? Let me know so I can follow you!

JJ Beazley said...

Roisin! Time machine jokes apart, I have to say something serious. I do wish you'd stop going on about your 'tipsy talk.' It was a perfectly articulate post that just happened to come from somewhere slightly different than usual. You must know that the people who read your blog hold you in great affection, and they're more than happy to see a different stream of your consciousness for a change. What's there to be embarassed about?

Mickie Mueller Art said...

I love these inventions! My last two post on The Old Wooden Art Table referenced Steampunkiness too! I do love the disclaimers. Maybe this is the time machine that brought that time traveler on the cell phone to the Charlie Chaplin movie opening! I hope it's not the one from Napoleon Dynamite! LOL

TheBlakkDuchess said...

This is awesome! =D

I so need one, but alas am a bit short on cash... le sigh... ^-^

Anonymous said...

Have you ever seen John Bauers art? If you haven't, I think you'd like it. :)

Jeanne said...

Now that would be a handy contraption! But just a wee out of my budget.....
Must go see the video of it in action...

Thanks for sharing! :0)

Róisín said...

JJ- Thanks, you're too kind as ever.

Mickie- I saw that Chaplin thing, weird. There seem to be a lot of time travellers showing up in old photos and the like lately. Maybe this thing is in wider use than we imagained!

Annalee- Hello! Didn't realise you were back with us in Blogland, must get a wee spin over to your place at some point this evening :) Anyway, with regard the time machine, maybe if we pooled our penny jars we could manage it?

Anonymous- I'd seen some of his work before but never knew his name. Only realised when I looked him up. Thank you so much because you're right- I do love him! And now I have a name to Google. Thank you!

Jeanne- As I was saying to Annalee, maybe we could all bunch together to get one and take turns travelling through the spacetime continuum. We'd probably need another couple of thousand blogger to chip in too, but I'm sure we could get there with a remortgaging or two ;)

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