Hello all. Sorry for my absence over the past few days. I was rather embarrassed by my tipsy talk the other night so I’ve pretty much been avoiding this, my real blog, since and have been throwing myself into my Tumblr instead. But then I came across this earlier on when I was supposed to be doing real work and just had to come over and share it with you!
Anyone remember the M.M.M.M., that wonderful little contraption that could convert fairy thoughts to music? Well’s here’s another even more monumental invention that’s been hiding it’s light under an Etsy bushel while the world’s scientists continue to slave away in their conventional labs. Yes folks, they said it couldn’t be done but now a little known Bristol inventor has gone and invented a time machine. A TIME MACHINE!!!
According to the manufacturers it’s a “hand held device for traversing the chrono scape” which transports a willing volunteer through the vortex of time itself. “Feuled by raw liquid ether held in the containment vessel at the bottom,” they continue, “the user has only to wind the clockwork mechanism at the top the desired number of times to initiate chronoporting.” Fair enough.
Ah, but does it work? At $100,000 it would bloody well need to! Now if it was on offer for £9.99 I’d be a bit sceptical myself, but if it costs that much then it must be real. Plus they have photographic proof of its chronosphere-surfing attributes, apparently, which you can view here: video of Watts Industries Time Machine demonstration. I have to admit I haven’t actually watched it myself, it was taking far too long to buffer with my crappy connection, but I’m happy to take their word for it. As aul Fox used to say, I want to believe!
On the whole I think my favourite part of their sales pitch though, aside from their offer of the chance to navigate the boundaries of eternity itself, has to be their disclaimer:
Watts Industries Accepts no responsibility for chronofreeze, ingestion by theropods, Vexatious encounters with robots and infantication. If raw liquid ether is ingested seek medical attention yesterday.Don’t say you weren’t warned!